Stress-Free Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
By Sarah Cronin
As a wedding officiant, I know many couples can be so intimidated by writing their own wedding vows that they choose to skip it all together. There are tons of resources out there that give you examples of what other people have done. You don’t have to copy them, but there’s nothing wrong with a quick Google search and watching some YouTube videos to get some ideas and inspiration. Your officiant can usually offer some assistance as well. This writing does not have to be a scary task and is such a beautiful way to add your unique personalities to the day. Your guests will love it and they will be something you will treasure forever. Remember that your vows only need to be two minutes or less to recite. Before you begin, talk to your partner about expectations. Make sure you know if your vows are going to be humorous or serious, kept closer to traditional or far from, if you will write them together or separately or any other details you should communicate. I have compiled a list for you that will take the fear factor out and have you feeling like a natural poet in no time. To make it simple, break your vows into four sections - love, qualities, promises and then the final vow. Grab a pen and paper, your favorite beverage and let’s do some writing!
Talk About Your Love
What made you fall in love?
How did you feel when you first met?
How do you feel when the two of you are apart?
Has your view of the world changed for the better because of your partner?
Why are you marrying them?
What does marriage mean to you?
Talk About Your Partner’s Good Qualities
What is the first thing you noticed about your partner?
How has your partner supported you?
What do the two of you have in common?
What do you respect about your partner?
How does your partner make you a better person?
How do they make you feel inspired?
How do they make your life better?
What do you find endearing about your partner?
What do you find humorous about them?
Make Promises
What do you want your future together to look like?
What have the two of you already done or accomplished together?
What things do you want to include in your new life together?
What values do the two of you share?
What goals do you have in common?
What are you looking forward to?
The Final Vow
What is the most important take-away from what you have written so far? Do you want to include some humor here as well? Perhaps it is more your style to pull in a religious aspect. Whatever you decide to end on, make this your final and strongest point, for example, “from this day forward, I vow to…”
While you are writing, be sure to include any fun stories and give specific examples that explain your feelings. Remember not to include anything too embarrassing. Even if it may be fine with your future spouse, it may leave your guests feeling a little uncomfortable. Avoid clichés. Show your personality and take your time with this project, coming back to it more than once. Give it some real thought over a little bit of time. After you have completed your writing get feedback from family or friends and make adjustments if necessary. Finally, be sure that you print out a copy of your writing and have it on you for the ceremony. Keeping in mind that you will probably have this printout in front of your guests, have a nice clean, legible copy and not the version that has been scribbled on a dirty napkin. Once your proclamation of love is complete, practice, practice, practice and you will wow your guests during your wedding ceremony!
Want me to take a look at your vows and offer insight? Email me at adelynneventco@gmail.com and I will take a look and reply back!
